hack STUPIDITY
by Disturbed Insomniac
Summary: Just a bunch of .hack oneshots. R&R or else...
1. Just Buggin'

**Disturbed Insomniac: this story dosen't belong to me! **

**How-Big-Is-Your-Violin**: **Damn right! Its mine!**

**Disturbed Insomniac: Then why did you decide to post it in my account?**

**How-Big-Is-Your-Violin**:** Um... cuz i'm too damn lazy to make an account for one story!**

**Disturbed Insomniac: Oh, ok... i'll let you post it here under one condition... I GET ALL THE CREDIT AND YOU GET ALL THE DISCREDIT! MUAHAHAHA!**

**How-Big-Is-Your-Violin**:** Discredit is not a word! **

**Disturbed Insomniac: is too!... well, let's just get with the sory! (smiles)**

It was a nice day in The World, or was it night... who cares, it was nice anyways. Mimiru was sitting on a hill enjoying the wind running through her hair, and she suddenly heared,

'Helooooooooooooooo!'

'What do you want now!' she snarled impatiently at the green haired guy.

'I was just around and I found you here!' said Sora with a big grin on his face.

'Don't you have anyone else to bug?'

'Nope!'

'Don't you have anything else to do?'

'Nope!'

'Do you even have a brain?'

'Nope!'

'Is that all you can say?'

'Nope!'

'Ah would you stop it already? You... You... Ah get out of my face!' screamed Mimiru stomping her feet and waving her arms like a lunatic.

Sora gave an evil grin and left Mimiru, he did what he wanted to do. Now who else to bother the brains out of?

**How-Big-Is-Your-Violin**: **Don't forget to review.! **-


	2. I Can't Hear You!

'Where am I?' asked Tsukasa to himself as he stared at the flaoting girl on top on the bed. 'Where am I?' He fond a floating teddy bear and decided to pick it up.

All of a sudden, Maha popped out of nowhere, starring Tsukasa in the eye. She started to speak.

'Excuse me, but I cant hear you.' interupted Tsukasa.

Maha looked at him in an angry manner and tried to communicate through sign language. Tsukasa looked at her in comfusion as her mouvments got more and more, let's just say slightly exagerated.

'Cat got your tongue?'


	3. Quest

Mimiru was standing somewhere. She was waiting for Bear, as usual. He finally arrived. "You're finally here!" she said impatiently.

"I did say I was coming. Why are you all uptight?"

"You're late!"

"Oh, really?"

"You told me to meet you here at exactly 10 o'clock!"

"But it is 10 o'clock-"

"No! It's 10 o' 1 and 43 seconds!"

"Well, sorry for being 1 minute and 43 seconds late!"

"What did you call me for?"

"I was wondering if you would like to go on a quest."

"Wow, really?" said Mimiru excitingly, "What for?"

"We're going on a treasure hunt"

"Yay!"

So, Bear and Mimiru started their expedition when Tsukasa just happened to appear.

"Hey! Tsukasa!" said Mimiru. "Come with us!"

Tsukasa quietly agreed to go with them. They walked, and walked, and walked, and walked, and walked, and walked some more until they made their way to a castle.

"What exactly are we looking for?" asked Mimiru.

"Don't know, we'll find out when we find it." Answered Bear.

"Let's check this place out!" said Mimiru enthusiastically.

"Stop!" said Tsukasa quietly.

"Why?" asked Mimiru in wonder.

"I… I sense something bad… something evil…"

"What is it, Tsukasa?" asked Bear.

And then, something strange came out of the castle.

"What is that?" wondered Mimiru as funky techno music started to play. As the music got louder, the thing got more visible.

The funky dancing lady was dancing around them.

"What's got into her?" asked Mimiru as she slowly started to dance to the music.

"No! NO!" shouted Tsukasa, trying to resist the funky dancing.

The funky dancing lady had control over the tree players, like follow the leader, she had them do cartwheels, backflips, and a bunch of funky dance moves. She made her way towards a cliff, jumped off…


	4. New Feature

"HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO!" said Sora as he made his way towards Crim.

"What do you want now kid?"

"Oh, nothing!" he said taking his knives and stabbing Crim in the face.

"What's this?" wondered Crim as he touched his face, "Blood!"

"It's a new feature!"

"So, you just wanted to try it out? Let's have a real fight!"

"Allrighty then!"

Sora and Crim put up a good fight for a long while.

"Isn't this great?" asked Sora.

"Wow! This new feature is really realistic!" said Crim in amazement.

After a long while, they looked at each other, amazed at all the gushes and blood that was leaking from all over. They decided to call it quits for the night.

Well, it turns out that the new blood feature was realistic; Crim and Sora were never to be seen again in The World.


	5. The Great Grunty Race

"It's a beatiful day her in The World! It's almost time to start the grunty race!" said Jack Layton.

"That's right! Today, we have five racers on the track!" said George W. Bush.

"Um… there are six."

"Oh… yeah… I can't count. But all I can say is that the race is starting soon!"

"I already said that!"

"You did? Oops, wrong cue cards!"

"While this incompetent guy gets in order, I will announce the racers! number 1 is Tsukasa, number 2 is Subaru, Mimiru is on number 3, BT is on number 4, number 5 is Bear and in number 6, it's… it's the funky dancing lady from the opening credits!"

"On your mark! Get set!" The gunshot started the race.

"And we start with a good start. Wait a minute! It appears that number 5 has fallen! The grunty is smooshed, it appears that Bear was too big for it."

"Did you ever bite yourself on the tongue? It hurts!"

"Wow! number 1 is in the lead! Oh! Tsukasa has lost control over the grunty. It appears to be bumping into the wall! number 1 is no longer in the lead!"

"This afternoon, not much precipitation, -24 deg. C, but with the windchill, It's going to feel like -50 deg. C."

"Oh no! number 4 has collapsed. All four legs have fallen off the grunty! BT does not look impressed!"

"Tonight, a mix of sun and cloud!"

"number 2 and number 3 are head to head. Oh! number 3 has shoved number 2! Subaru now has an evil glare and makes her grunty shove back. Wow, it appears that these two are in a terrible fight! OH MY GOD! Both grunties blew up!"

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Someone get the paramedics!"

"American politics are confusing and there are no butter knives on the table!"

"Well, it appears thatnumber 6 has won! This has been a very interesting race. But now, it's even more interesting! The funky dancing lady is – What are you doing?"

"Dancing!"

"Well, that's all for today! Goodbye!"

"I need to pee!"


	6. Fake Wings

Subaru was standing on a cliff.

'Lady Subaru! What are you doing here?' asked the Crimson Knight.

'Today, I'm going to fly!'

'But you can't, Lady Subaru!'

'Crimson Knight, I'm tired of listening to you.'

'But Lady Subaru...'

'I'm off!' she said jumping off the cliff. She tried to move her wings, but they would't budge.

'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!... your wings are but plastic...'

**How-Big-Is-Your-Violin**:** so peoples, tell me what you think ok?**


End file.
